February success?

I really wanted to be in the 160's by ______ (insert name of month here). Tuesday the scale said 170.4. Yesterday was March 3 and when I stepped on the scale it said 169.8. I am pretty sure it laughed maniacally, too.

This morning it said 170.1.

Last night Debu-chan and I were discussing the mental aspect of weight loss, the defeatist attitude that easily and frequently takes over. These thoughts include such pearls as:
- "I will do better tomorrow"
- "what's the point"
- "we're all going to die anyhow"
- "I'll have stretch marks whether I am skinny or not"
- "No one will notice if I lose weight"
- "If I lose weight I will still look like a slob in these clothes"
- "I will exercise tomorrow"
- "I'm still hungry for X"
- "It's stupid to work out only to lose .5 pounds or gain 1.5 pounds"
- "Am I really going to work out/eat healthy for the rest of my life??!"

One of the experiences I related was the difficulty I have with the times at which I eat, the amount of food I consume, and the nature of that food.
I tend to be hungry (ok, obsess) over one particular thing, such as spaghetti.
Then I tell myself, "I want another plate, but I won't eat it now. If I wait 30 minutes and I'm still hungry, then I will eat it." In the mean time I am so starving that I end up gorging on a bunch of things once the 30 minute mark arrives.

There are lots of similar mind games. The bottom line is, I want to be happy. Maybe being healthy doesn't contribute to that as much as I thought it would. I was sick of weighing 190 pounds. I'm down now to 170 (it looks like I'll never get under that!). I'm glad I lost 20 pounds. Do I think I am capable of losing 20 more? Absolutely.

Do I think I will adhere to the lifestyle changes that cause weight loss? I don't know. I honestly don't know.