How is 'fail' spelled?

It's spelled like this: G-Y-R-O*

And you thought spaghetti was going to be my problem.

For the most part, my diet (and by that I mean normal food selections) is pretty much the same week to week, month to month. Even if I go out to eat or get take-out, I get the same thing. Theoretically, that makes my whole point-food-counting-fat-loss-predicting process pretty easy. I like Mt. Dew, but I know I'll see faster results if I gag down the diet instead. I know I can't eat 16 plates of spaghetti and still stay under 5 points a meal. But what happens when I deviate from my normal fridge-foraging and venture out into the unknown world of foreign dineries?

Today I went out to lunch. I stared at the ridiculously large menu and narrowed my selection down to a few things: shrimp and wild rice, chicken salad wrap, or a gyro. Luckily we were still waiting on someone to join us so I had some time to really reflect on this decision. I ordered a cup of clam chowder (should have been called crappy chowder) and waited.

And when the waiter came back and waited on me, it was zero hour. Shrimp? Chicken? Gyro? Chicken? Shrimp? Wait, what about a BLT? Maybe a club sandwich? Should I just get an appetizer? I'm in an unusual restraunt! This is a huge menu! What do I really want?

A gyro. No fries.

A gyro is essentially healthy, it's kind of wrap-like, right? There is a meat and lettuce and tomato, there's not even any cheese.

Would it sound like I was rationalizing if I said it wasn't a gigantic-beach-sized-feed-a-family-of-Duggars gyro, it was a normal-person sized gyro??It was probably slightly excess on the portion side, but it was still normal-person sized. (And I spilled some of it on my lap. That is a surefire sign that I did lose some weight, food finally hit my lap again. Take that, lap. I'm pretty sure my boobs flipped off my lap when it happened.)

I didn't eat anything else until dinner time and then I started to figure out my points.

One thing I consulted said that a gyro is 12 points. Now that I look around, other things say that a gyro is worth many, many more points. That means with my crappy chowder and my drink, and my "12 point" (probably 3,000 point) gyro, my lunch was 19 points all by itself. With the rest of what I splurged on tonight, I ended up with 45 points (and the night isn't over yet).

If what I think I'm alloted is correct, I have 27 points a day. With the whole "extra points" for the week crap, I figure that to be 32 points a day. I don't have the time or the brain power to figure stuff out at the end of the week to see if I have any "extra" points leftover.
Either way you slice it, today was a massive failure.

It's not so much today that I'm worried about. Once I found out how much a gyro was, I was kind of like, "Eh, screw it." I had an extra glass of regular soda. Some toast for a midnight snack. Maybe another glass of soda. Then I started thinking, "you know what, screw this weekend. We're going away on Monday and I'm going to party then, no use in not partying in between. Tuesday I'll get back on the wagon."

I'm still going to try to post every day, you know, share the gory details with you innocent bystanders.

So, I don't know. If I really want a shock to my senses, I'll go jump on the scale. The last time I weighed myself I was 189.6 (down from 192.4). How much can one crappy day screw that up? Looks like I'm going to find out. Right now I feel somewhat guilty and stupid and I needed to write it down before I decided to pretend like it didn't happen.



*Man, that gyro was fucking good.


Cartoon from Cathy Thorne's Everyday People